So, I recently saw a
disturbing news story flash across the television screen:
BUTTERBALL REPORTS A SHORTAGE OF TURKEYS.
A shortage of
turkeys?
YES.
Apparently, the
turkeys have not gained enough weight, this year,
causing a shortage of
available turkeys over 16 pounds.
The experts at
Butterball cannot explain the reason behind this phenomenon.
Since, I have
experienced the OPPOSITE “phenomenon”, lately, I thought I would write a letter
to Butterball, offering them my expert advice.
Dear Butterball:
Send your turkeys to
my house.
We will eat lots of
CARBS, drink lots of WINE (more carbs), and sit on the couch
and watch a lot of FOOD TELEVISION (even
more carbs).
And, no matter how
much they beg me to exercise . . .
I WILL NOT
LET THEM.
I GUARANTEE your
turkeys will gain weight.
Sincerely,
Concerned Turkey
Consumer
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